Hi friends,

I know i had not update for very long. especially like not just purely like reviews or wat..but stuff that a blog should be posting about.

well, i apologise to it if you do visit my blog and find nothing (other than reviews or song of the month).

I think i now, i wanted to voice out all that is trap in my heart..and i going to change the whole story so that i do not disclose what isit or who isit about. As i DO NOT like to backmouth or backstab others as i do not like the same towards myself.

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I honestly do not know what i had done in the past that might make Person A (let's in short call as P1) angry with me.

In the past, i was working under him in the group and my passion, i think lots of frenz should noe and including himself noe, is similar to P1 including our hobbies. I mean, its good right (at that time, how i see it). I enjoyed the time working under P1 as i felt P1 was a good friend and a good boss.

However, ever since, i was asked to leave the group (step down, quit, etc, however u wanna call it as), i was kinda being aimed. Whatever i do, becomes other's topic and maybe P1's too (i duno)?

A little misunderstanding can cause like a chaos. Not knowing whatever, P1 jus listen to others and kinda tok wif me regarding it that since i no longer belong to the group, i shouldnt be doing so and so and i should receive like permission from P1 or another boss who is under the same group (there are 2 boss in this group).

So i kinda agree and from then on, when i enter this group for visitation, i wun do anything that might mislead or cause misunderstanding. Due to the passion of mine, i really DO NOT wish to leave this group. Had been trying to ask the Boss (not P1), to rejoin the group however i am not allowed to =( I am very sad but i respect the boss' decision.

I tried not to think about the group and just like do other stuff to keep my mind off from it however, due to my passion, i cant!

Hence, frequene visit to the group including the group's outing i will not miss. But i think maybe P1 do not like? i not sure. Is just my guess.

Like somehow, if i wanna get something that belong to the group, i am not allowed to as it is like a property belonging to the group and that even when i ask the other boss, i am STILL not allowed by P1. WHY?

i remember in the past, other non-group member can get it. Is it just me?

Is it in the past, i am part of the group (officially), i was needed, so treat me better. Now i do not belong to the group, i am not needed, hence, treat me differently? Not even as a fren? I felt more like a stranger!

I see the P1 with other people in group is like so friendly, so nice. Got topic and even a simple hi. Towards me is like cold? As if i do not exist?

I am quite sad! T_T yes, famous term, EMO!

I remember clearly, when this P1 is out of the group, like in public place, if a member of the group see P1, P1 will just like not the same friendly, cheerful person. WEIRD!

Is like totally like a different character, a different person! OMG! Alter-Ego? o,O?

But whatever is P1's problem is, i do not care!

I just felt very sad! The Lord had placed me in this kind of situation! WHY? And having such friend? Or isit not a friend? I DO NOT KNOW! T_T

I had so much wonderful friends from outside the group (including the group too) and is so much enjoyable! Church, non-church..well, i felt they are much more friendlier then P1?!

Well, i do not hate P1, to make it clearer view. I jus disappointed and pondering, WHAT HAD I DONE WRONG?

Isit like ppl from my office, when u r needed, they treat u like veri nice, when u r not, jus dump u in the corner?

I felt this from P1. P1 been onli toking to key ppl from the group. Those who can help P1 in the group. What abt those who P1 cant use? i not sure. I do not want to put things into the scoop as i do not wish to backstab or backmouth P1. Hence, i feel i jus sharing what i feel nw..

which is basically..SAD...DISAPPOINTED..

A used to be friend that is now like not a friend..A person that had been disapproving on my involvement towards the group in somehow or another (i do asked the other boss and the other boss kinda still nicely tell me the reason as a friend and i gladly accept but not like how P1 sae, as what P1 sae jus hurts my heart even more, which sometime i wish that i can jus cry out loud!)

That's all for my uttering!

TO BE CONTINUE . . .