The real friends that is around me, had already know my thoughts and problems i am facing which i had shared with them. I really been praying to the Lord for the problem to be gone and not get worst. I know it had gone worst but still had not lost the faith in my dear Lord Jesus. I know he is using this problem to grow and mould me like most friends had talked with me about.

All i can do is to pray for the problem to be resolved. I really missed the friendships alot. All the fun times i had with the group of friends i had. Now is just lonely navi. But i know i am not walking this path alone. There is my Lord Jesus Christ and the different people He had put in my life whom i had shared my problems with and the Lord had used them to adviced and talk to me on. I really want to thank the Lord for all of you friends! You know who you are as i had spoke with you the problem i am feeling that really hurt my heart and i did had gone through really terrible emotional brokedown.

I heard and seen different things that make this hurt getting worst and worst but i still holding on cause of this friends.

I know these people whom i spoke with are the friends that i should be called Real Friends as they never neglate me. But guess i must still search for a REAL friend, aka, Best Friends.

I really want to use this chance to thank all of you, you know who you are =) thanks :)

I really hate my past, the old navi. Those who had been with me for very long, whether from church or outside, i guess you all had know the changes i had and i really cherish my friendship alot. I even put friendship ontop on everything. Yes, even BGR! And of course, since i love and cherish my friends, why would I love making enemies?

I know the Lord had put different people in my life, whether it make my life up or down, i am sure there is a reason on why the Lord had put them in it and He has his reason. That is to grow and mould me which He had else i will still be the same old navi!

I really hope those who still have some misunderstanding with me, angry with me, or anything around this area to forgive me, i know you know who you are. I really want to say, "I am Sorry!" and it is sincerely deep down in my heart.

Those who had adviced me, should know the sincerity i had towards the friendships and really very sad on it as it hurt me alot alot.

I really hope the friendship won't get anymore worst or bad but will changed the direction of good/better! i con't to pray.

This is a navi's next poem creation to portray my life now and thoughts.

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navi's life poem:
Dawn

Whenever I’m feeling upset
I always love to tell myself:
"That this world is not just seeing this small roof
But there is a sky so big and far!"

Without winter, there would be no plum blossom
Without daybreak, there would be no dawn
The road of life is either rugged or smooth
Either one, we still have to bear it

Who can only have joy and not have sadness?
Come across setback but not feeling depress?
There are so many changes in our life journey; it must be depend on our own judgment.

I am waiting and anticipation for dawn!
Brighten up the haze deep in my heart!
But if the whole world no longer has darkness, will my life be brilliant?

That's all for today.

TO BE CONTINUED . . .